falling out of a coconut tree
i do everything i can to avoid knowing if others are seeing me and then get surprised when others see me. i mute all of my twitter notifications so i won't know who's interacting with my art, i only enjoy posting on sites like dreamwidth where i can't see views or likes, i ask people to not follow or subscribe to me because i desperately don't want to know if people are looking. in my mind, because i can't see that anyone's looking at my posts, i think they can't see me either.
it's very much like a toddler playing hide-and-seek!
i'm hypocritical because i hate existing in the minds of other people (who aren't my friends <3), but i also want people to hear my thoughts. however, because i purposefully block myself off from receiving notification of acknowledgement, i end up speaking too freely under the assumption that no one does see my posts aside from my buddies.
seriously though, no one ever sends me tumblr asks or messages outside of on my oresama teacher blog of all places, so it's pretty easy for me to just think no one's seeing what i do lol. if anyone's reading this now, can you get into oresama teacher too?